I'm not sure if this happens to other people, but it seems at times I spend a lot of time pondering the past...... It's not really something I try to do on purpose, I'll just see a face, or something will come up that will remind me, and ZOOOOOOM!!!! there I go back in the past.
Recently my trip back home to St Louis made me think of the choices I made, in my personal life, and professionally that let me to be so far from my daughter........ I often wonder even though we talk through email, phone, text, facebook etc..... How much I've influenced her life, and if it were more negative or positive...... I know my daughter is the best thing that came from my early attempts of trying to be on my own.... (or I guess I should say being a young adult, knowing nothing but ideals at the time} LoL
I guess I just wish there was a meter you could refer to that would let you know how your decisions will end up 2, 5, 10 years from the time you have to make them.....
I guess I can find solace in the fact that my daughter still talks to me and says she loves me..... Even though I think we see each other way too few and far between...
Being back also got me thinking about some "old flames" it's funny though the ones I think about........ it's not so much the people I dated seriously, it's more of those fantasy crushes I guess you would call them........ You know, those people that you really like everything you see about them, but are too terrified to let them know your feelings?
I guess I should first state that I'm happily married, I don't really think of them in a "sexual" nature......... It's more of thinking how I wish I could have spent more time with them, or let them know how I felt, and wondering if these couple individuals even knew how I felt, or felt the same thing towards me............. Does this even make any sense???
These are some of the reasons I ended up using "Sentimental Fool" I've always been told I was too sentimental, and that it wasn't necessarily a good thing........ I ask though, just what is wrong with caring??? Even though there was really nothing to speak of in these couple relationships, the people remain very close and dear to me. Could it be that they are from a time when life was still so innocent?? or am I really just a sentimental fool?
Maybe you are sentimental but the "old days" were good! I do the exact same thing you talk about above. But on a whole other tangent...I can't believe you were right here maybe 5 miles from me visiting and I didn't realize it! Jeez! I should've been checking FB statuses more frequently through the holidays!
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