Okay, okay, I know, I'm going to vent and most of you probably don't even know what I'm talking about LoL......
For those of you that don't..... I've had a very spotty medical history..... I have had 4 strokes, two of which were pretty major...... as if you can have one that isn't LoL, contracted encephalitis while administering CPR to someone, which has caused some other nice little issues......
Anyway, I've been told by my doctors that they won't release me to work, because there is just too much risk of being injured worse, and because of liabilities.......Hard to Handle for me......
What I hate is when someone tells me "you are living the life, that would be so great not having to go to work everyday" ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!
All the medical issues aside, being on disability doesn't even come close to giving you what you made when you were working, not to mention the feelings of not being able to provide for those you love, and a loss of sense of purpose......
C'mon people, think before you speak sometimes......
I don't want sympathy, but would like people to realize that this isn't a choice that I made either.... and because I do have disabilities doesn't mean that I got some huge settlement and am just living the high-life........ It's just us trying to make it the best we can from day to day......
Okay, end rant for the day ;-)
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
Car Buying
Well part 1 of the car shopping is finished!!
While purchasing or New to Us auto, I realized just how much I hate the games that are played.
Why is it that there is always the low-ball offer on your trade in, the how much do you want your payment to be...
I decided this time I wasn't going to play the game, and it went surprisingly well...... Instead of talking payments, and such I just focused on first, What is my trade in worth, and told the salesman that what they were offering on it would let me know if we could even do business.....
Well the offer of course was low, and my statement, that is way, way too low, I guess you guys really aren't seriously interested in selling a car got surprising results!!!
I told them my trade was worth at least a dollar amount, I didn't want to mess with all this after price fees added on..
all the sudden the sales manager appeared and things got underway well...... There is still a bit of haggling back and forth, but found it seemed they appreciated a well educated consumer.......... We've only been looking at vehicles on and off for the past year.. LoL
Anyway I have to say as far as car buying goes it was rather pleasant, and we are pleased with our 2006 Jeep Commander......
Angie is able to transfer in and out, and get her chair in by herself... (if needed) and it is able to do the things we need... It has some rough spots, but then nothing is perfect....
Now just to find an accessible auto for Angie and we will hopefully be set for a long time in the car department.........
While purchasing or New to Us auto, I realized just how much I hate the games that are played.
Why is it that there is always the low-ball offer on your trade in, the how much do you want your payment to be...
I decided this time I wasn't going to play the game, and it went surprisingly well...... Instead of talking payments, and such I just focused on first, What is my trade in worth, and told the salesman that what they were offering on it would let me know if we could even do business.....
Well the offer of course was low, and my statement, that is way, way too low, I guess you guys really aren't seriously interested in selling a car got surprising results!!!
I told them my trade was worth at least a dollar amount, I didn't want to mess with all this after price fees added on..
all the sudden the sales manager appeared and things got underway well...... There is still a bit of haggling back and forth, but found it seemed they appreciated a well educated consumer.......... We've only been looking at vehicles on and off for the past year.. LoL
Anyway I have to say as far as car buying goes it was rather pleasant, and we are pleased with our 2006 Jeep Commander......
Angie is able to transfer in and out, and get her chair in by herself... (if needed) and it is able to do the things we need... It has some rough spots, but then nothing is perfect....
Now just to find an accessible auto for Angie and we will hopefully be set for a long time in the car department.........
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
So Tired
Well I guess that title could lead into several things, and various rants and raves LoL
Mostly it's just that I feel so tired the past few days.....
We've been trying to get some projects done that are a bit time sensitive on the airplane front, and at least the 260 is finished as of today!!!!
I look back and sometimes wonder how I used to be able to go all day and night and not feel tired at all....... I guess it's just age LoL or the bug that decided to set in at about 3am..... You ever wonder why it seems like something has to wake you up in the middle of the night to start getting sick??? I would just prefer it would let me sleep LoL
Anyway the roads are back clear today, and most things are open and running, Thursday I go to the doctor to see what all is going on with the shoulder issues.... So hopefully that will be something that some type of exercise or PT will be able to fix and not surgery..... Then get all the other medical stuff out of the way..... I feel like I'm paying for too many doctors vacation homes of late LoL
Mostly it's just that I feel so tired the past few days.....
We've been trying to get some projects done that are a bit time sensitive on the airplane front, and at least the 260 is finished as of today!!!!
I look back and sometimes wonder how I used to be able to go all day and night and not feel tired at all....... I guess it's just age LoL or the bug that decided to set in at about 3am..... You ever wonder why it seems like something has to wake you up in the middle of the night to start getting sick??? I would just prefer it would let me sleep LoL
Anyway the roads are back clear today, and most things are open and running, Thursday I go to the doctor to see what all is going on with the shoulder issues.... So hopefully that will be something that some type of exercise or PT will be able to fix and not surgery..... Then get all the other medical stuff out of the way..... I feel like I'm paying for too many doctors vacation homes of late LoL
Friday, January 7, 2011
Counting the Slashes
Talking with a great friend last night, just about life, and things going on, we began to realize just how really old we are getting..... (even though we feel a lot younger) LoL
We talked about opportunities we have had that we passed up on, and about how much time we had wasted making choices for the wrong reasons.....
It became so clear, that it is so easy to lose ourselves these days our identity gets changed, into Mom or Dad, this persons other half...... so on and so forth....... Not that there is anything wrong with being those things its great!!!! but when we lose who we are, we start changing in ways that aren't always for the better...... We can lose confidence in ourselves, give up things that are dear to us, and end up deciding not to make a choice in some situation, (which by the way is still making a choice)
So what to do about this:
Well I decided to not give up on me, and the dreams I once had, and those things I want to do.... I might make a wrong choice, or wish I hadn't done something later, but at least I had the experience, rather than sitting back in my old age wondering, what if I had only ______
By this I don't mean being selfish, and not considering those in my life, but just not to think myself out of an opportunity........
We only have this time here that we are given, and as we know and have experienced, it can be gone in an instant....... Sitting here at my age now, it seems like the past 20 years have just flown by!!!!
So my resolutions for this year are:
To Love Stronger, and as unconditionally as I can
To take the time to pick up the phone and call a friend, family member instead of putting it off, answer that letter or text more, just to say "hi, and I love you" to the people in my life.
To not waste a day in anger or frustration over something I can't control.
To try and do some of the things I've always wanted to do..... To dream and try to reach it.
To not accept and guilt trip that someone is trying to give me...... and realize though I'm not perfect, neither is anyone else, and I deserve to be treated with respect, and to be appreciated, and not tolerate abusive relationships...... friends, family members, etc......
And most of all to try and encourage those in my life to do these things as well...... Treat all in my path with a smile, and respect.......
and Pray God helps me do these things
Love You All
We talked about opportunities we have had that we passed up on, and about how much time we had wasted making choices for the wrong reasons.....
It became so clear, that it is so easy to lose ourselves these days our identity gets changed, into Mom or Dad, this persons other half...... so on and so forth....... Not that there is anything wrong with being those things its great!!!! but when we lose who we are, we start changing in ways that aren't always for the better...... We can lose confidence in ourselves, give up things that are dear to us, and end up deciding not to make a choice in some situation, (which by the way is still making a choice)
So what to do about this:
Well I decided to not give up on me, and the dreams I once had, and those things I want to do.... I might make a wrong choice, or wish I hadn't done something later, but at least I had the experience, rather than sitting back in my old age wondering, what if I had only ______
By this I don't mean being selfish, and not considering those in my life, but just not to think myself out of an opportunity........
We only have this time here that we are given, and as we know and have experienced, it can be gone in an instant....... Sitting here at my age now, it seems like the past 20 years have just flown by!!!!
So my resolutions for this year are:
To Love Stronger, and as unconditionally as I can
To take the time to pick up the phone and call a friend, family member instead of putting it off, answer that letter or text more, just to say "hi, and I love you" to the people in my life.
To not waste a day in anger or frustration over something I can't control.
To try and do some of the things I've always wanted to do..... To dream and try to reach it.
To not accept and guilt trip that someone is trying to give me...... and realize though I'm not perfect, neither is anyone else, and I deserve to be treated with respect, and to be appreciated, and not tolerate abusive relationships...... friends, family members, etc......
And most of all to try and encourage those in my life to do these things as well...... Treat all in my path with a smile, and respect.......
and Pray God helps me do these things
Love You All
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Trying something a little different
Okay we are going to try something here, and we'll see how it goes.... LoL
Some people know I use to write quite a bit of poetry, and lyrics....But haven't done much of it in quite awhile......... As sad is it may be, it seems that pain is the influence that makes for me to write well....... Fortunately those inner demons seem to be at bay for awhile...... So I decided to try and write something on a lesson learned in life rather than the pain I'm going through........
So we will see how it goes over if it's liked I might try writing more, and posting some of my other writings, if it reaches out to someone...... If not..... well we can just trash doing it again LoL
So here is the attempt, let me know if you like it or can relate to it in someway or another....
When I was young and still in school,
I met a young lady and somehow knew she was "The One"
I never could find courage to tell her how I felt
time drifted by then school was out.
went by, we went separate ways
never getting another chance to ask her out.
left only with memories and to wonder
what would have happened if I had asked her out
Could something so innocent stand the test of time
could we still be together, or ended in goodbye
I've learned that life is wire we all must walk
playing it safe won't guarantee happiness or success
so while we're out on that wire, we might as well dance.
I'd much rather live letting time tell the answers
than survive with regret...........
JRA
Some people know I use to write quite a bit of poetry, and lyrics....But haven't done much of it in quite awhile......... As sad is it may be, it seems that pain is the influence that makes for me to write well....... Fortunately those inner demons seem to be at bay for awhile...... So I decided to try and write something on a lesson learned in life rather than the pain I'm going through........
So we will see how it goes over if it's liked I might try writing more, and posting some of my other writings, if it reaches out to someone...... If not..... well we can just trash doing it again LoL
So here is the attempt, let me know if you like it or can relate to it in someway or another....
When I was young and still in school,
I met a young lady and somehow knew she was "The One"
I never could find courage to tell her how I felt
time drifted by then school was out.
went by, we went separate ways
never getting another chance to ask her out.
left only with memories and to wonder
what would have happened if I had asked her out
Could something so innocent stand the test of time
could we still be together, or ended in goodbye
I've learned that life is wire we all must walk
playing it safe won't guarantee happiness or success
so while we're out on that wire, we might as well dance.
I'd much rather live letting time tell the answers
than survive with regret...........
JRA
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Too Much Time to Think?
I'm not sure if this happens to other people, but it seems at times I spend a lot of time pondering the past...... It's not really something I try to do on purpose, I'll just see a face, or something will come up that will remind me, and ZOOOOOOM!!!! there I go back in the past.
Recently my trip back home to St Louis made me think of the choices I made, in my personal life, and professionally that let me to be so far from my daughter........ I often wonder even though we talk through email, phone, text, facebook etc..... How much I've influenced her life, and if it were more negative or positive...... I know my daughter is the best thing that came from my early attempts of trying to be on my own.... (or I guess I should say being a young adult, knowing nothing but ideals at the time} LoL
I guess I just wish there was a meter you could refer to that would let you know how your decisions will end up 2, 5, 10 years from the time you have to make them.....
I guess I can find solace in the fact that my daughter still talks to me and says she loves me..... Even though I think we see each other way too few and far between...
Being back also got me thinking about some "old flames" it's funny though the ones I think about........ it's not so much the people I dated seriously, it's more of those fantasy crushes I guess you would call them........ You know, those people that you really like everything you see about them, but are too terrified to let them know your feelings?
I guess I should first state that I'm happily married, I don't really think of them in a "sexual" nature......... It's more of thinking how I wish I could have spent more time with them, or let them know how I felt, and wondering if these couple individuals even knew how I felt, or felt the same thing towards me............. Does this even make any sense???
These are some of the reasons I ended up using "Sentimental Fool" I've always been told I was too sentimental, and that it wasn't necessarily a good thing........ I ask though, just what is wrong with caring??? Even though there was really nothing to speak of in these couple relationships, the people remain very close and dear to me. Could it be that they are from a time when life was still so innocent?? or am I really just a sentimental fool?
Recently my trip back home to St Louis made me think of the choices I made, in my personal life, and professionally that let me to be so far from my daughter........ I often wonder even though we talk through email, phone, text, facebook etc..... How much I've influenced her life, and if it were more negative or positive...... I know my daughter is the best thing that came from my early attempts of trying to be on my own.... (or I guess I should say being a young adult, knowing nothing but ideals at the time} LoL
I guess I just wish there was a meter you could refer to that would let you know how your decisions will end up 2, 5, 10 years from the time you have to make them.....
I guess I can find solace in the fact that my daughter still talks to me and says she loves me..... Even though I think we see each other way too few and far between...
Being back also got me thinking about some "old flames" it's funny though the ones I think about........ it's not so much the people I dated seriously, it's more of those fantasy crushes I guess you would call them........ You know, those people that you really like everything you see about them, but are too terrified to let them know your feelings?
I guess I should first state that I'm happily married, I don't really think of them in a "sexual" nature......... It's more of thinking how I wish I could have spent more time with them, or let them know how I felt, and wondering if these couple individuals even knew how I felt, or felt the same thing towards me............. Does this even make any sense???
These are some of the reasons I ended up using "Sentimental Fool" I've always been told I was too sentimental, and that it wasn't necessarily a good thing........ I ask though, just what is wrong with caring??? Even though there was really nothing to speak of in these couple relationships, the people remain very close and dear to me. Could it be that they are from a time when life was still so innocent?? or am I really just a sentimental fool?
First Time To Journal Online
Being one that has journal-ed for years, I've decided to try doing so online. Spurred on by the fact that I recently had a computer glitch and lost the last few years of my life in writings LoL
I've decided to allow this to be open because there were so many times I wished I would have shared things with friends and loved ones, but never got around to sharing my thoughts, I've always been one that was better at putting his feelings and thoughts in writing than in the spoken word.
So I hope those of you that decide to follow with me on this journey will contribute, and perhaps let me know that I'm not the only one that gets some of these strange and sentimental thoughts that run through my mind on an almost constant basis LoL
I've decided to allow this to be open because there were so many times I wished I would have shared things with friends and loved ones, but never got around to sharing my thoughts, I've always been one that was better at putting his feelings and thoughts in writing than in the spoken word.
So I hope those of you that decide to follow with me on this journey will contribute, and perhaps let me know that I'm not the only one that gets some of these strange and sentimental thoughts that run through my mind on an almost constant basis LoL
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